i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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