Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
