Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
