Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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