break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
