I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
