why didn't you poke me back
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
