'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Randomize
