Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
