Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
