Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
