why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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