You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
