Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
