Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
