Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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