David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
