i just wanna soil my oats bro
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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