i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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