i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
