when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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