There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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