Betty ford says i'm here all night
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
