guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
