I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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