You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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