The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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