when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
