Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
