talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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