So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
