yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
you're hired as official boob wrangler
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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