Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
