Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
