Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
