To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
