"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
