I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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