Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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