Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
operation have a gay friend backfired
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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