Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
one might say we're banned from that church
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Bang-toberfest begins!!
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
