Screwed.edu
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
It's official drugs can't kill me
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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