He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
