Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
its liver damage thursday
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
