WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
