are you still at the devil's house?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
