We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
