I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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