o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
