I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
