She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
