In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
please don't ironically join a cult
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