Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
