I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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