Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I can't put those talents on a resume
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize