We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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