mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
