Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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