that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Randomize
