just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
