he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize
